I tried that trick today where you chew gum while chopping onions so you don’t cry and it worked! Then my mom came home and I said, “Hey Mah I’m chopping onions and I’m not crying, know why?” And without even looking up from the mail she was opening, she said: “because you’re dead on the inside.”
all of my followers are dalmations
cruella deville strikes again
Some of the best pickup lines I’ve used so far:
- If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
- If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
- Are you a robot? Cause I’d like to turn you on.
- I need a map. I keep getting lost in your eyes.
- Do I know you? Cause you look like the man I want to marry.
- I lost my horse. Can I ride you instead?
AND THEN I GOT THIS ONE IN RETURN
- Here, could you hold this for me while I go for a walk? *holds out hand*
FUCK THAT’S CUTE
people are always talkin about miley cyrus and how shes not hannah montana anymore but nobody ever talks about oliver “smokin” oken
this ruined my life
im truly sorry